Is Your Marriage Stronger Than An Affair?

The initial emotional responses to learning of a spousal extramarital affair can be all-engulfing. Naturally, you are the last one to learn about it. And now you know. Everything your life has been based on for years is now in question. You feel you can’t possibly go on together now that pain, sorrow, and anger are overwhelming you. You ask yourself endlessly why the person you married out of love doesn’t feel the same emotions regarding your marriage as you still feel despite the passage of time. But perhaps it doesn’t have to mean the ending of your marriage.

So are their reasons to stay married after an affair? Yes, there are. Have you ever looked at another person and lusted? Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be with another lover? Maybe you have unintentionally flirted with one of those people. The point is, we are all human. We make mistakes, but we learn from those mistakes.

When we learn from our mistakes, then our mistakes are not necessarily a bad thing. Even when the mistake has been an extramarital affair. Mistakes cause us to learn, to reach for something better, to step outside of our usual selves and grow. Growing through an affair together with our partner is possible. It may even make the marriage more durable, the partners more united.

Provided the one who strayed is actually sorry for their actions, the marriage can be build up from here. It doesn’t matter who cheated on whom. It matters that both parties care enough to work on getting past this issue, and that there is a desire to remain together, and a willingness on both of their parts to face the difficult moments that will come as they forge ahead together. The marriage can not only survive, but thrive as well.

Caught up in the moment of the affair, you might be asking yourself why stopping the infidelity is a good idea. Ask yourself about any guilty feelings you might have had when the affair began, and look deeper, to see why you had this guilt. You probably had no intention of hurting your spouse, nor did you wish for your marriage to end. Was the guilt because you do in fact love your spouse? After all, you both have invested a lot of time and self in the building of this marriage. Yes, you do love your spouse after all.

Why stop your infidelity? This affair you have going is filled with excitement, intrigue and a sense of danger from the sneaking around. Is it really something that will last past those feelings? Is it a relationship that will stand the test of time? It wont, when those feelings are gone, the thrill of your relationship will be gone. You will want to crawl back to that strong rock, your spouse. Make the decision yourself before it is too late.

Probably the best reason to stop the affair now is that you love your spouse still, after years and years together. In good times and bad, with all your idiocyncrasies, they have remained steadfastly with you. They love you and you still love them. Now is the time to end this affair. Not tomorrow, not next week. Now.

If you both have the strength and endurance to get past the affair, then you will survive. Your love for each other will grow deeper. You married each other for a reason and that is why you will stay married.

Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!