There can be no doubt: times are tough! With survey after survey showing that more than 8 out of every 10 Americans are frightened about the state of thee economy, anxiety is at an all time high. So the big questions is, how will this affect our relationships, our friendships, and our marriages?

The answer? A whole lot!

Ask any economist: this country is in for a rough few years. The mortgage crisis, the credit crisis, and stock market problems seem to have converged lately into “The Perfect Storm.” For the average individual, we are seeing our 401(k) shrink, our stock portfolios plummet, and even worse millions are losing their homes.

So what does this mean for our society and our culture? As we become more and more anxious, as individuals and as a culture, about our jobs and our future, it no doubt begins to affect our interpersonal relationships. As a practicing Atlanta Divorce Attorney, I can say this. I’ve counseled countless clients, and the number one reason for divorce, time and time again, is fights over money. The studies confirm this assessment. Married couples fight about finances more than anything else.

Second, what impact does this fighting, and these divorces, have on our psyche? Study after study has shown that there is only one thing more traumatic to people then getting divorced, and that is the death of a loved one. Second to that, people experience more grief, more psychological trauma, and more pain, when going through a divorce than most any other experience in their lifetime.

Add the two up, and you’ve got not only “The Perfect Storm” for America’s financial well-being, but also for the well-being of our relationships and our anxiety levels.

So, what do we do.

To begin with, the first step is to recognize the problem. Way too many clients come into my office with the perception that they are a total failure as a spouse. Mostly I find that these are men, but many women experience these emotions as well. As the breadwinner of the family, they feel as if their contribution to their marriage is now non-existent. Unfortunately, it sometimes takes an outside perspective to make them see how skewed their perspective really is. They are loved for who they are, not what they can produce. When they think about it calmly and rationally, their children and spouse love them no less because they have hit a rough patch. The point is: communicate with your spouse and tell them how you are feeling. You’ll be amazed at what a difference this makes, not just in terms of getting it off your chest, but also in terms of taking the first step towards healing your marriage.

Second, never be afraid to ask for help. Talk to your spouse and see what you can come up with together. Maybe you can cut down on spending. Maybe your spouse can take a part-time job. Maybe you can consider getting a second job, or moving to a less expensive neighborhood. Put your minds together and see where it takes you. Don’t go the road alone: marriage is about merging your lives, so work together towards resolving your problems in te right direction.

Hopefully this has been helpful to you. As an Atlanta Divorce Attorney, it’s sad for me to see too many couples suffer — financially and emotionally — in going through a divorce they can so easily avoid. Financial problems can be devastating and traumatic, but look at it as an opportunity to face a challenge head-on, and build and strengthen your relationships, not end them.

Jeffrey Ellerman has counsels couples in Atlanta, Georgia on divorce. He has lectured nationally on the emotional impacts of divorce. Mr. Ellerman consults with the Atlanta Divorce Attorneys Atlanta Divorce Attorneys at Persily & Associates.

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