by Pam Baldwin

They can work for you. The downside is that it takes a while to make things happen between somebody you meet, just like it would elsewhere. The upside is that most people feel more secure and have an easier time of going through an online service than having to walk up to meet people. You can get to know them before ever meeting them in person. How to do this differs if you are male or female.

So ladies, you may have asked if these services will work for you, or how to actually meet that person online. So I’ll keep it simple. Tons of guys will send you messages but it’s up to you to keep that attention. You just need to act yourself, no craziness allowed. Well, or however guys describe crazy.

If a guy is hesitating about asking for your number or to meet, and it’s something you feel comfortable doing, don’t be afraid to do the asking to move things along. The worst that can happen is you fall back on one of the many other guys you’re talking with.

Now for your profile: Unless you’re fairly average looking but like to be told you’re pretty, post a kind of small and grainy picture or don’t post one at all. Guys will still send you messages, but will spend more time getting to know your personality.

So what should you write? You want to show some of what you’re like but not too much. Really long profiles, pictures of who else is in you life, and short stories you’ve written are a bit too much to handle. You need to let him try to find out more about you because that’s what makes them comfortable. Besides, you want to be protected from stalkers or people who want to steal your identity.

And for all you guys, you have to ask yourself if these services for online dating actually works. It is much easier to jot off one, two, or twenty emails to start talking with somebody instead of meeting some random person on the street. They will still be hard at times even though they are online conversations. You still have to make that move.

So, what to do with your profile? You need to remember that she will probably read it only after you’ve sent her a message. So write it that way. You need to share some things about yourself to let her know that you’re a bit deeper than that short email you sent, but do not try to promote yourself. And it’s good to have some pictures, including some that show you handing out with friends and another showing that you know how to have fun when you’re doing some of the things you said you enjoy doing.

So, can services for online dating work for you? Absolutely, if you’re willing to do things how they need to be done. But remember that building relationships online takes much more than in the real world. The good part is that you can feel relaxed with the person before the face-to-face meeting even happens.

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