Anybody over the age of, say, 17 has seen that infamous episode of Friends. You know the one: Ross and Rachel decide to go on a break to re-assess their relationship…and everything falls apart. Ross cheats, drama ensues, and there’s a big, nasty breakup. And while Ross and Rachel do get their “happily ever after” in the end, when you hear the dreaded words “I think we should take a break,” your heart flips over in your chest and you hear the bells of relationship doom ringing in your ears. Because outside the world of Friends, “I want to take a break” means that it’s over, right?

What Wanting a Break Can Mean

Not necessarily. Especially in long term relationships, your partner can be unhappy for an infinite number of reasons…and not all of them have to do with you. It might be something concrete going on at work or with family, or something harder to pin down, like feeling generally unfulfilled. Or sometimes, your partner may just feel unhappy without even knowing why. It’s frustrating, but it happens. And when it does, it’s perfectly normal for them to want time away to get a little bit of perspective.

Taking a break can be a good thing. It can give your boyfriend or girlfriend a chance to reassess their priorities and figure out what’s going wrong in life. It can make them realize that life is better with you in it than it is with you out of it. It can bring you closer and make your relationship stronger.

But it can also mean that your relationship is coming to an end. I’m sure it’s not what you want to hear, but sometimes “taking a break” is just a way of breaking up without saying so. To some people, it just seems like the easy (okay, the cowardly) way out of an unhappy relationship.

What You Should Do

First, don’t freak out. There are a lot of reasons why your partner might have asked for a break, and you don’t want to jump to any conclusions. So silence those ringing bells of doom in your head, and try to keep your cool. A “break” doesn’t necessarily mean a “break-up.”

Next, talk to your partner about why he or she wants to take a break, and try to look for the truth in his or her answers. If he or she hems and haws about giving you a reason for the break, you can start to worry. But if your partner insists that he or she just needs a bit of space to reassess their life and relationship, the best thing to do is take their statements at face value.

And then give your partner what they want. If you want to save yourself from a potentially dramatic and drawn-out break up, you might just want to break it off with them permanently. But if you really want your relationship to have a chance, you’ll have to give your partner the space that they need. There’s a chance that your boyfriend or girlfriend will realize that their problems lie within themselves – not with you. And though it’ll hurt to be apart, giving your partner the space that they need will only make the relationship stronger.

So just take a deep breath, try not to panic, and have hope. While it’s possible your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to end things permanently, it’s also possible for a break to be a good thing. Good luck.

Use PlanJam.com to find date ideas and dating advice.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Leave your Comment

Do you keep finding yourself in a relationship that doesn’t last even if you’ve been doing the right things? Then you could be getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons. Relationships like these usually start wrong and end horribly as well. Find out if you are in a relationship for the wrong reason by reading the following:

Wrong Reason #1: You feel lonely and alone.

Being lonely sometimes makes girls hang on dearly to their boyfriend even if he is not keeping his end of the bargain in terms of respect and love. Girls like this, which probably include you, feel so afraid of being alone even if their boyfriends are abusive and immature that they would rather choose to continue a relationship with a jerk than live alone.

Be very cautious if you are on the path of having a relationship just so that you can have somebody to hang out with during the weekend as this would lead you to commit wrong reason no. 1.

Wrong Reason #2: You feel the pressure of having a relationship.

Seeing every one of your girl friends with their boyfriends will definitely make you feel that you are living alone in a world made for two, especially if they’re getting engaged and you’re left wondering why you are still single.

Some women may take this as a go signal for them to hurry up and get into a relationship with any guy who’s available just to be able to keep with the current trend of being in relationships. Doing so is another way of walking into a sure disaster. Committing because of pressure won’t make you happy in the long run as rushing things like this doesn’t prepare you for the greater responsibilities ahead.

Wrong Reason #3: Committing just to fill the gap.

Have you ever felt that there is a gap in your life that really needs to be filled, and yet you don’t know how? Many women automatically assume that the gap is there because there is no man in their life at the moment. So they grab the next available man hoping that he could fill the empty space.

Sad to say, it won’t. The gaps in your life will still be there even if you get into a relationship. The worst case scenario would be that he’ll think that there’s something wrong with you, and that your level of insecurity is obvious enough to make him hesitate in taking the relationship any further..

How then can you avoid having these wrong reasons in your relationship?

You may have heard this line before, but you should help yourself first. Being lonely doesn’t mean that you automatically need a boyfriend. The answer to your loneliness could be meeting new friends and engaging in fun activities. If you look around you and all you see are couples, do not feel pressured. Instead, think of the freedoms you might have to give up once you commit.

Learn to fill the gap on your own if you think that there is something missing. The guys worth having would like to be with women who are independent and secure. Show these guys that you are worth having and you can be sure that they’ll knock on your door soon.

Aaron Adams specialises in relationship matters for women.

Afraid of being single forever? Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out what to do.

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Comments (1)

by Rex Simpleton

An online relationship should be viewed like any other relationship. However, online relationships are gaining popularity mostly because people have the advantage of knowing each other first before the actual date. Also, they are considered safer and more practical for people who don’t have much time to invest in real world dating. But before going online and investing time in a virtual relationship you should learn some tricks.

1. Take time and make time. Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings can be considered abuse or neglect, so treat each other’s time with respect. If it’s lacking, might mean time to move on.

2. Online relationships are based on the communication between the two parts so make sure that works well. Also, don’t try to push the other partner to meet you too soon, they might feel uncomfortable. Make sure that you two know each other well before moving on to the next step; it takes a lot of time to build trust in each other.

3. Respect the other’s personal information and don’t share it with other people. If your partner is sharing digital photos with themselves, email address or other personal information, respect their privacy and don’t give that information to others.

4. Make sure that you have fun online; you can send postcards, photos, or media files to your virtual partner. You can both see clips on the internet or listen to the same music. You can talk on the same forums, share ideas about the same interests. There are many things to do with your virtual partner, just use your imagination.

Those are just a few of the things to can do to help grow your online relationships. Always trust your “gut” feeling, as this is your intuition and it is leading you so a safer and more comfortable situation.

Tend to your online relationship, just as you would with any other relationship. Water it with care and over time it can sprout and grow.

And, doing this online is a good way to start. Especially since it can widen the number of people you have the same interests with. You can now meet people world wide if you choose. This will also help you grow.

About the Author:
Zemanta Pixie

Leave your Comment

by Russ Anders

Your relationship ended to what appeared to be a couple that were destined to be together in a deepening courtship? There is still time too get that important person back in your life. Modern relationships and certain types of personalities can be brought back together with help and reconciliation. Has it been months? That persons memories are still vivid. You can get help getting your relationship back together after a breakup.

Two people can just have that all important connection. Even if it all falls apart. You can get back together again. Calling them too late or too soon may work. Or if you are not prepared it could take longer. There is a proper way to reopen the lines of communication.

Relationships can be healed. Do not fear repeating the mistakes of the past. You can be able to call them and open the lines of communication again by knowing sound principles to restoring a broken relationship.

Did that special person make things better at that key time? That can happen in your life again. Being lonely and concerned if that person was the once is usually a sign of something greater in the way you both connected. Get your relationship on the mend again. Make is better the second time around.

That person is the world too you still. Now you can begin a step be step approach to moving them back into your life. There is a wealth of information out there. But there is a fast method that integrates what is proven to work. You can be lead back into a relationship with your special someone that will last without the heartache.

About the Author:
Zemanta Pixie

Leave your Comment

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus; that is how different men and women are. Women define casual dating and a relationship differently from men.

One of the differences between genders is that women venture into the dating arena hoping to find a man who is thinking of getting a serious and long lasting relationship. Women get into relationships seriously wishing that this will be for keeps. This is basically the reason why many women are afraid that the man they are eyeing might reject them or turn out to be another Mr. Wrong.

On the flipside, men look at dating in a different light. They get excited when they meet new women, especially the kind of men whom women see are a good find; men who are witty, good looking and exude sexiness through their independence. Unfortunately these are the kinds of men who consider dating as something just for fun and are not interested in a serious relationship. Men who think this way is capable of having a casual relationship that lasts for months but settling down is never considered.

At this point, the crisis begins. The woman feels that her love is unappreciated because the man is not commitment-bound, while on the other hand the man feels the pressure of forced to settle down. If you’ve been in this scenario before, then you are on the same boat as other women who went through the same problem.

The truth of the matter is that numerous women get into this situation time and time again, wondering if there is no man alive left who is a good enough catch. If you think along this lines, then its probably time to think that the solution can be found nearby. Admit it or not, but you may be showing him qualities that makes him think that you are not exactly “wife material.”

You may want to avoid the following bad qualities:

Emotionally Insecure.

Do you complain a lot and fuss over minor issues? You may be emotionally insecure and immature if you are majoring on the minor things. Criticize your man’s emotions, thoughts and actions, and you are surely treading on dangerous grounds. While your complaints and observations may be legit, men do not like being told upfront about the things that are “wrong” with him. This is one way of ensuring that he will think that you are weird and then slowly fade away, never to be seen again.

Curtailing His Freedom.

Demanding that he give up parts of his freedom for you is another way of telling him that he has to give up a lot just to be with you. The scary part is that he may realize that giving up the things he loves, such as his friends and his hobbies, for you may not be worth it. Remember that these are things that have been in his life before you came, so don’t go cleaning house if you want to reside in it.

Be the woman who is fun and easy to be with and avoid the bad qualities mentioned. Make him see that you have the qualities that can make his life easier and more enjoyable, and he won’t have any reason to stay single for long.

Aaron Adams specializes in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out 3 qualities that your man will go wild for.

Zemanta Pixie

Leave your Comment