Just how popular are online dating services? There are many indications of popularity on online dating services. I just ran a check on Google for the search term “online dating”. It came up with over 42 million entries. Now obviously these are not all Lavalife or eHarmony but this number has been growing on a daily basis. Online dating is a viable business that has become big business. With over 4 million Americans using the services on a daily basis, there is lots of room for profit. A research study showed that 15% of Americans who surf the net are going to online dating sites.

As an example of what is offered, we will look at the two largest online dating services online. Yahoo Personals and Match.com will both let prospective users browse the listings freely but to communicate with another customer or potential date, you have to pay the monthly fee of $25 for Yahoo Personals and $30 for Match.com. A recent entry from Google in the online dating service at dating-google.com offers three different plans. These plans are free (basic browsing), Silver (browsing plus contact opportunities) for $18.95 per month and Gold (Silver plus top listings for profiles) for $22.95 per month or $48.95 per quarter.

The large majority of the 42 million plus entries listed in Google are free. They earn their money through selling advertising on their sites. They provide services advising on how to get a good match. They will offer things like searching for age groups (20s, 30s, etc). Some of them run contests and quizzes all in an effort to get more eyeballs seeing their sites. The on-site advertising has a much better chance, the more people who go there.

Another technique to pull customers in is offering a free trial. Engage.com is a good example of this. They offer a free 6 month trial to prospective customers so that they can thoroughly check out the service. Engage.com has a unique plan wherein you can register as a “dater” or a “matchmaker” or both. Another unique concept is that you as a matchmaker can recommend someone who isn’t a member of Engage.com. When you register and give them your profile, the profile will be checked and assigned either a “thumbs up” icon or a “thumbs down” icon to let you know how well you are doing.

Within the 42 million listings for “online dating” are companies that just post personals, similar to newspaper personals, only online. One example of this is Google Base. Google Base is a listing of classifieds such as real estate, vehicles, and personal profiles. Another technique is to have customers recommend other people. This is how Greatboyfriends.com works. The name is a bit misleading since they handle both men and women but if you type in Greatgirlfriends.com, it will redirect you to Greatboyfriends.com. You can either recommend someone or search for dates yourself. The charge is $20 per month.

One of the sites that let you set up a blind date is Match activity. Users use tags to post preferences and hobbies or activities. The more details you put in the profile, the more chance that someone with the same interests will contact you. The basic site is free but there is a charge on $8 which gives you the right to communicate with any prospective dates.

It isn’t always about dating; it could be just seeking out potential friends with similar interests in your locality. There are a number of sites that operate this way. This kind of dating/social networking site allows you to post activities in a public area to be browsed by other members. Services such as Socialgrid.com or Passionsnetwork.com are good examples of this form of online dating.

Mingle2.com allows you to send emails to other members. It works on the premise that members are the ones who decide who would be a good date. One good thing about this site is that it is totally free. The sign-up process is easy and takes less than a minute. They have filters such as age, gender, and locations. With singles forums and chat, there is always something there.

Another 100% free dating site is Plenty of fish. With upwards of 300,000 logins per day, there is always lots of choice for browsers. One of the unique features at this site is the power to block users from contacting you. Users can also set up groups of people that they don’t want to hear from.

These sites offer lots of services, some for free. Their basis for dating involves matching activities between users. This gives everyone using the service a basis for setting up a date. A lot of sites also support matchmaking.

?In your relationships with others, remember the basic and critically important rule: If you want to be loved, be lovable? Ken

After choosing a free dating website, the first step is to prepare a killer profile to place on the web site. It’s important to remember some key factors when creating the profile so that it says what you want it to say.

Your picture

The picture is the first knowledge other members on the free dating website have of you and your personality. You should choose your picture carefully and upload it to the website. Make certain that the picture you select is one that reflects your personality and perhaps shows the type of activities you like to participate in. If you are a hang glider enthusiast and have a picture of yourself showing you excited about an upcoming launch, use it. A candid shot well composed is far better than a formal studio photograph which can often look too posed.

Subject

Your profile for the free dating website should be on target for what you are trying to express about your personality. You can look at other profiles to get an idea of what attracts you. Take time to think about what you want to express and how best to say it. Polish the information so that it excels in both quality of construction but creative presentation. Make sure you don’t use the profile as a forum for your life history or your social misfortunes grocery list. Stay focused on the purpose of the profile which is to explain who you are in a way that others will want to know you better.

What attracts men?

On a free dating website, you will find men who are attracted by any number of different things, just as in the real world. Appearance counts, of course, so make certain to place your most attractive yet natural photo with your profile. Beyond that, express your personal interests and personality honestly and creatively and the men will be attracted. Because the site is free, there are more likely to be more members to be attracted, no matter what your profile expresses of your personality.

What attracts women?

Women are attracted by honesty, sensitivity and the ability to share a moment. Women searching the profiles on a free dating website will look at the photos, but they may be less important than the written part of the profile that describes your personality. Just as in real life, almost any statement about people’s dating likes and dislikes is an over generalization. However, look to be honest about your personality, sensitive to other’s feelings and the ability to listen to what others are saying. There is no point in constructing an artificial personality–it won’t hold up to closer inspection.

What to avoid

When preparing your profile for a free dating website, there are certainly things that you should avoid. The first and probably most important thing to avoid is dishonesty. Don’t misrepresent your age, gender, wealth, or anything else about you. Don’t use someone else’s picture, no matter how beautiful or attractive they are. Don’t structure your likes and dislikes in hopes of attracting a particular person. For example, don’t say you love children to attract a widower with three children if you have no desire to be an instant mother. Avoid poorly written, misspelled or grammatically incorrect profiles. Anyone can get a short profile punctuated, spelled and correctly written with some effort.

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In today’s world, you can find everything online: you can order your groceries, a pair of shoes and a job all from the World Wide Web. So it would make perfect sense that you can also find a mate in the very same fashion!

Some are a little skittish about online dating though it has become so popular that people of all ages and walks of life are now doing online dating. It is not “just” for the young or for people who love computers. Often as we get older, our social circles close in on us: online dating is an excellent way to widen it out a bit and meet some people with similar interests and preferences.

Just be yourself. Mom was totally right when she said this and we’ll tell you why: when you put on an act to be someone else the person you are with forms an entirely different picture about who you are. This means that if they are attracted to you, then they are actually attracted to someone else. You want them to like you for you! So show your date exactly who you are: chances are they’ll like what they see.

Put your best foot forward. There is a difference between showing someone who you are and scratching where it itches in public! Take this opportunity to show your date your sunny side and your best features. If you have a great sense of humor have a couple of jokes planned. If you are known for something else your strong listening skills or charm: then share this with your date.

They have sweaty palms too! We’ll let you in on a little secret: everyone is nervous on a date. This is true whether or not you see them acting nervous or not. Some people just hide this better. So have some compassion if your date is laughing a little too hard or fidgeting in their seat. They’re just having a case of first date jitters like you are too. There is a benefit to remembering this tip you tend to calm down a bit yourself.

Everyone has baggage: leave yours outside for now. We all have something that we pull around with us. It may be a divorce, credit card debt or a college degree we are still completing. Everyone has something they consider their “baggage.” Sometimes it is a big deal and other times it really isn’t. Most of the time what matters is how much of a positive attitude you have about the situation and how much effort you are using to change or act in the circumstance.

You usually can’t change the fact that you have been divorced (unless you re-marry the person) though you can refrain from making negative comments about them or telling endless stories about why your marriage was a failure.

Be clear about what you are looking for. The “dating game” can be a real challenge. Part of this is because it truly isn’t an even playing field. You may be looking for a serious relationship and others are just looking for companionship or a little fun. Be clear and upfront about what you want from the start without getting into what hair color you hope your kids are going to have.

Use a light touch when telling someone what you are looking for and put yourself in their shoes. If you are not looking for a serious relationship, then you’d probably want to know this ahead of time also. Remember that although someone may say one thing they also can change their mind as a relationship progresses.

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When you join an online dating service, you are looking for a girl that you can like even come to love. That girl is looking for a guy that She can like or even love. What you aren’t looking for is a girl who would like your best friend or your idea of what the perfect guy looks like or talks like or thinks like. So, in order to find the right girl for you and she is out there, you need to be completely honest with yourself when writing the online profile, during the dating process and beyond.

The best way to begin writing your profile is to carefully analyze your past relationship (s). What was right? What was wrong? What things really made you like the last girl? Which didn’t? Don’t assume that just because you hated your last girl, was so totally self-involved that she couldn’t see anything else, you’ll be able to overlook that quality this time. You won’t.

If you aren’t 6’1″ with a six-pack to be proud of, don’t claim to be. If you are a bar tender, don’t claim to be a lawyer with a six figure income. If you are 40 going on 50, don’t pretend to be 30 something.

Remember, the idea here is to find a girl who will like you exactly like you are. If you have lied in your profile, the first face-to-face meeting will remove all her doubt that you are a liar and probably a cheater, as well.

Lastly, once you have found a girl that you believe can be the one for you, for goodness sakes, cancel your membership to the online dating service. After all, you know and she knows that online dating services are intended for those who are looking not those who have found or been found.

In his photo he had a chin.

Okay, so the photograph was snapped from a distance, but looking back she swore she saw a chin. Maybe it wasn’t a chiseled George Clooney chin, but there was some kind of separation between the head and neck.

“He seriously didn’t have one,” says the 30-something woman who stepped up her love-hunt game by joining an online dating site.

“I swore I saw a chin in the photograph,” she says.

That’s the power of photography.

If taken at the right angle, under flattering lighting, and from a safe distance, a photograph can conceal our more undesirable characteristics.

Then comes real life — and it’s on that first face-to-face date when lying can come back to haunt us.

“In the age of digital photography, there’s no reason not to have a great photo,” says Kim Hughes, editor-in-chief of the online dating site Lavalife.

“You’re not doing yourself any favours by putting up your college photo if you’re 40. Avoid the baseball cap and sunglasses. (Online dating is) not intended for people who want to be online indefinitely. Sooner or later you’re going to have to meet in person.”

Another woman recalls entering a restaurant and walking straight past the “athletic” guy she’d met in cyberspace.

Carefully scanning the crowd, she was beginning to wonder whether she’d been stood up when she heard her name.

There he was. Live and in the flesh.

“And there was a lot flesh,” she recalls.

The guy who’d described himself as being in good shape weighed in at about 300 pounds. Talk about stretching the truth.

In another story, a woman said she made a promising connection with a man she had a great deal in common with. Well, except for one thing — his wife.

Beyond their virtual chats, he proved tricky to pencil in for an in-person face-to-face meeting.

“So I said, ‘Why, are you married?’” she inquired half-joking.

“That’s when he admitted it. I was like, ‘Okay, no thanks.’”

Since then, she has fallen in love with a man she met on Lavalife. The couple recently announced their engagement.

Unless you’re looking to become a one-date wonder, lying is bound to backfire. Your date will not only feel deceived, but will question your trustworthiness as a potential partner.

Certainly we all want to put our most polished foot forward in our effort to meet Mr. or Miss Right, but highlighting our great points doesn’t mean fudging the truth.

A survey entitled Manners and Behavior released by the website engage found that 30% of men and 19% of women believe telling white lies online is acceptable.

Lying about income levels was most common at 21%, followed by weight at 16% and age at 14%.

Suddenly we go from being 40 pounds overweight to carrying just a few extra pounds; a five-foot-sixer jumps to five-eight, and a 40-year-old makes a snap return to her 30s.

Their are also lies of omission that can occur whether you meet by chance at the deli counter or in cyberspace. For instance, he has children, but fails to mention them; she’s taking a small break from work, but really she was fired two years ago, the wedding ring has somehow slipped off the finger, you get the drift.

While fibbing singles may be trying to get an advantage, a Harlequin survey released this year found that more than 41% of men and 51% of women believe honesty is one of the most important qualities in a mate.

Dating site true has taken steps to bust liars by offering background screenings designed to keep felons and married folk from setting up accounts. Meanwhile on the matchmaking site eHarmony, aspiring members can be rejected without explanation after answering hundreds of profile questions.

“(By lying) you could miss out on the person who wants to meet the five-foot-five guy who has a few extra pounds,” explains Hughes.

“Sometimes people are a little nervous . . . (but) honesty is the best policy as a general rule.”

It’s your job to sell yourself, but false advertising won’t get you beyond a first date. If you need help highlighting your great points, ask friends and family for input.

Beware the old photograph. Most digital cameras offer date-stamped images and it’s a wise feature to use — and look for — when searching for love online.

When chatting in cyberspace, ask direct questions such as: What do you do to keep in shape? How do you spend your spare time? What does your typical work day look like?

If you’ve been duped, keep your manners in check. At the end of your date, simply wish them luck finding what they’re looking for.

Love relationships can be challenging, confusing, and exciting. It’s important to remember that communication, trust, and respect are the most important parts of a healthy relationship.

Most people begin dating when they are in their teens. These relationships can be fun, exciting and a great way to learn more about yourself and your values. But dating can also be a source of worry and confusion.

Dating and sex can be fun and exciting, but they can also be confusing. Whether youre just starting to think about relationships or youve been dating someone for a while, you probably have lots of questions about things like how to show youre interested in someone, dating, intimacy and sex.

When you think about falling in love you may think of the sweaty palms, dry mouth, rapid heartbeat, and giddiness that many people experience when they are first attracted to someone. You may also think of the intense physical attraction that you can feel for someone you want to be with. These feelings can be part of falling in love, but love, if given the chance, develops beyond infatuation.

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